


Purity Is A Sin - A Jamilton Story - Hamilton The Musical - College AU

by Katty_Kat



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, Bullying, Child Abuse, F/F, F/M, Forced Orgasm, Forced Pregnancy, Gay Thomas Jefferson, Gun Violence, I'm Sorry Lin-Manuel Miranda, M/M, Mentally, Mostly Mute Hamilton, Multi, Mutual Pining, Rape/Non-con Elements, Really depressing, Self-Harm, physically, sexually, transgender Hamilton, transgender character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-05-28 19:54:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15056594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katty_Kat/pseuds/Katty_Kat
Summary: Alexander Finds Himself In An Abusive Relationship Before He Even Knows It.





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter One. Alexander’s POV. Two Years Before College.  
“C’mon Alex! I gotta tell you something! And it’s urgent!” John whined pulling me by my wrist after him while we walked through the front door of his house.  
John had invited me over to his house after school to talk about something rather “important” in his opinion. He wouldn’t tell me what it was until we were alone in private. As long as I find out it’s something worth John being annoying all day, I don’t mind. I rather enjoy John’s company. He’s my best friend. Like a brother to me.  
He was the first person I told about me being transgender and my past back in Nevis and with my cousin Peter.  
“My dad isn’t back till later, so we can talk without worry.” John said rubbing his neck. I nodded with a slight frown at the mention of John’s father. Henry Laurens.  
I knew he was abusive. It’s not hard to tell. I was abused by many foster families before I was adopted by the Washington’s. So I know what the signs are. And John has also opened up to me about it.  
“Let’s go up to my room for some more privacy...” John said beginning to hurriedly walk up the stairs. I nodded and pulled off my shoes. Leaving them at the door as I followed after him with a slight smile.

What is so important that he’s fussing over?

We walked into his room. Green walls, littered with turtle pictures and biology posters of turtles. Along with drawings and paintings from John. Most of scenery from outside and nature. The rest of turtles. Damn he loves turtles...  
He sat down on his bed and patted the spot next to him with a big goofy smile on his face. I sat on the bed next to him and looked at him. Giving him a ‘What the fuck is up with you?’ look. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  
When he opened his eyes he smiled at me and took both of my hands in his. I felt my heart rate begin to speed up slightly but focussed on John’s beautiful blue eyes with little green specks in them.  
“Alexander...” He started. Voice like honey with a certain southern  
“I know we’ve only known each other for two and a half years and that we’ve both been through a lot and I know that this is a long shot but, but...aw fuck it!” He sighed and leaned in close to me. Connecting our lips.  
And, I feel bad for thinking this, but. I don’t like John like this. So I did nothing. I didn’t lean in. Nor did I react. Not because of happiness or joy. But because, my best friend just kissed me!  
My eyes widened in shock and I pulled back from John first. My mouth a gape. He looked at me weirdly. Sadness and confusion on his face.  
“W-what’s wrong? Don’t you like me back?” He said getting a little angry at me. I shook my head and put my hands over my mouth.  
“W-wha? What do you mean no?” He said standing up.  
“J-John I-I just don’t l-like you like th-that. I s-see you m-more as a br-brother. N-not b-boyfriend. B-besides, I l-like s-someone else a-anyways...I’m-I’m s-so so-sorry!” I mumbled looking away from him. He had a hurt expression on his face. He started pacing the floor and cursing under his breath.  
“John-”  
“Who?!” He yelled. Interrupting me. Now. I felt anger bubble up inside of me. I stood and tried to match his height.  
“I...it’s n-none of y-your b-business J-John! So dr-drop it. L-listen, I’m s-sorry. B-but I d-don’t f-feel the s-same w-way.” I snapped back at him.  
“No tell me! If you don’t like me, then I think I deserve an answer!” He said through gritted teeth. I rolled my eyes at him and huffed in frustration.  
“Jefferson...” I said. My voice barely above a whisper.  
“...What?” He asked in shock. His face seemed to contort into a look of sadness and anger.  
“I s-said J-Jefferson!” I said a little louder this time. I looked at the floor feeling slightly intimidated by John. By his tone and his height. And also slightly ashamed of my answer.  
“You can’t be serious. The guy that beats you up every day? You like him? He hates you! Everyone knows he does! God, how can you be so stupid!” He yelled. I looked up at him hurt.

I get that he likes me and that this must be hard for him. I just can’t believe that he’s getting so angry at this. And throwing insults at me like this. He’s my best friend.

“You k-know what? I’m l-leaving!” I said walking past him and to the door.  
“No you don’t!” He said. I didn’t look back though. I opened up his door, but was soon slammed into it. I looked up at John who was towering over me.  
“J-John...let m-me l-leave...” I said trying to push him away from me. He only smirked and grabbed my face. Pulling me even closer to him. I struggled in his grip, but before I could say anything...he pressed his lips onto mine. Just this time it was more forceful.  
I started shoving him and trying to push on his chest to get him away from me. He grabbed both of my wrists and pinned them above my head. He started grinding on me as he slipped his tongue into my mouth.  
I gagged and tried to turn my face from him, but he wouldn’t let me go. He pulled back and attacked my neck with kisses and bites.  
“J-John! G-get o-off m-me!” I screamed. He smiled and pulled back from my neck.  
“Not happening baby girl~” He cooed. He let go of me and grabbed my shirt. Pulling it over my head. Leaving me in only my binder and jeans.

He knows I’m self-conscious about being called a girl. And about my body…

“JOHN!!!” I screamed. He only acted like he couldn’t hear me. But that smirk on his face said otherwise.  
He ripped off my binder exposing my bare chest to him as I cried for him to stop. I tried to cover myself up and shield myself from his cold, lust filled eyes.  
He turned me around by shoulders and slammed my face into the wall. I whimpered and twisted around in John’s grip.  
He held one of my arms behind my back and started putting pressure on it. Making it bend painfully.  
I screamed out and cried as he pressed against me more. Biting my shoulder as I screamed.  
“J-John. Pl-please st-stop!” I cried. He only chuckled and shook his head.  
“I was hoping that when we first had sex it would be a little more...consensual...but that doesn’t matter to me at the moment.” He growled into my ear. Using his other hand to begin to pull my leggings down.  
“N-NO! PL-PLEASE JOHN! YOU C-CAN’T DO TH-THIS! P-P-PLEASE!!!” I sobbed, thrashing around. Trying to kick backwards to hit him in the crotch, but failing. He put a hand over my mouth as he pulled down my jeans and boxers in one tug.  
I cried and tried to move around more, but it was useless. He pulled me over to the bed and straddled my hips. He leaned over me as he held me by my wrists to the side of my head. He sucked harshly at my throat.  
“P-please J-John! Your m-my b-best fr-friend!” I cried and tried to push him off me. He pulled back and leaned over to his bedside drawer and took out a couple things. I couldn’t exactly see, but a shine from metal caught my eye.  
Handcuffs.  
He grabbed one of my wrists and clamped one hand cuff ring around it. He then put the other one through the bed frame and locked it around my other wrist.  
I tugged on the cuffs and fought as much as I could against the restraints.  
“J-John...please!” I sobbed. He hummed and with two fingers, he tipped my chin up so I was looking at him. He had a small smile as he looked at me.  
“Don’t worry. I’ll be gentle...” He said. I let out a long sob and tried to kick him. I wasn’t able to as he sat on my legs.  
“Now, now. Remember who’s in charge here. And from now on.” He said pulling my legs apart and sitting in between them.  
“N-NO!!!” I screamed. He hissed and muttered a few swear words under his breath as he got out something else he pulled out from beside his bed.  
One of those being a black ball with straps connected to it. He brought it to my mouth and before I could do anything, shoved it inside. I tried to move my head away from him, but he grabbed my face.  
“Good girl...” He said strapping it around my head. I shook my head and struggled as much as I could underneath him. I tried to speak, but the gag muffled my cries.  
“Just so you will be quiet dear.” He said unbuckling his pants and pulling them down. Leaving him in only his boxers. I closed my eyes as he positioned himself between my legs.  
“Oh God your gonna feel so nice wrapped tightly around me...” He groaned in my ear prodding at my entrance with a single finger.  
I started to try and thrash around but he just pushed against me more. Pinning me between him and the bed.  
He pulled back slightly and held up a lube bottle. He poured some onto his fingers and brought them back down to my entrance.  
He shoved in one of his fingers and I cried out at the throb I felt of his finger inside me. He didn’t waste time as he soon started to thrust the finger in and out of me. And not long after, he pushed in another finger. Curling them inside me and thrusting them into me faster.  
I screamed through the gag and tried to move away from him. But he placed his other hand on my hip. Holding me in place. He scissored me open roughly a few times before removing both of his fingers with a pop.  
Leaving me not well enough prepared. Barely stretched. And in lots of pain.  
My eyes were shut as I cried as loud as I could. But as I felt something blunt press against my entrance, I opened my eyes.  
John had positioned his member at my clit and pushed his tip in. He moaned as I screamed for him to stop. He continued his penetration of me as I cried and cried.  
As the head of his cock was fully inside of me, he pulled back a little than shoved all of himself inside me fast. Too fast. In doing this, he made me scream in pain as I tried to kick away from him.  
“Oh God Lexi...” He groaned, leaning his head on my shoulder as he began pulling out slightly.  
I shut my eyes as he thrusted back into me. He kept doing this. Thrusting into me. Getting faster and faster. He didn’t care that he was ripping me apart from the inside out. Only that he was getting closer to finishing.  
And that’s when I remembered something. Something really important. 

He didn’t put on a condom… 

I began to scream even louder around the gag and try to kick him again. But it was no use. He held my legs as he thrusted into me rather harshly.  
“Oh baby I’m so close...” He moaned. I choked on tears and sobbed as he thrusted into me faster and faster. I felt something dripping down my leg. I felt pain. I felt complete and utter pain.  
He moaned and snapped his hips, once, twice, then three times and then a hot, sticky substance enter me.  
I screamed and tried to kick him as much as I could. But soon let pain over take me and let my body go limp as he continued to thrust into me roughly. Riding out his high.  
When he finally pulled out, he collapsed next to me on the bed. I didn’t open my eyes just sobbed.  
I felt him shift and begin to unlock the handcuffs from around my wrists.  
“There you go baby...” He mumbled as he freed my wrists. I immediately curled up into a ball and sobbed into my knees. I pulled the the ball gag off and threw it to the other side of the room.  
I let out the loudest, most blood curdling scream I could and sobbed uncontrollably.  
“Fuck!” John hissed. He grabbed me by my hair and put his other hand over my mouth. Towering over me.  
“Shut the fuck up slut! You now belong to me. Body, and mind. So get used to this kind of treatment from now on! Your mine. And no one else’s. Got that?!” He snapped at me. I nodded my head weakly and whimpered in pain.  
“And if you dare tell anyone about what happened now, or from this point on between us. No one will ever believe you. They’ll just know that your a little slut who loved it. Because you did love it. You just don’t know it yet. But one day you’ll thank me for taking you as mine. I’ll protect you from the real world. The real world that is cruel and unloving. And I’ll show you what your body should be used for by a man. Okay?” He asked. His voice soft now.  
I whimpered and nodded. 

He’s right. No one will ever believe me.

“Good girl. Now. Let’s relax then get you cleaned up afterwards...” He said tugging me to his chest as he lied back down. I sniffled and tried to stop the tears from falling from my eyes.  
I looked down at myself and saw that I had bites and soon to be bruises covering my neck and collarbone. I took a deep breath then looked to my legs.  
They had blood and John’s cum in between them. I cried softly and laid my head back down. Trying to get comfortable in John’s cold grip as he held onto me so I couldn’t leave.

Little did I know. This is the first of many nights like this…


	2. Chapter Two - College Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex Arrives At College With His Friends. As Well As Some Bad Memories.

Chapter Two. Alexander’s POV. Two Years In College.  
I take a deep breath and walk through the entrance of my new home for the next four years. Columbia college! I smile faintly to myself and walk towards the large buildings in front of me. I look around campus and see tons of people my age and older walking around and hugging one another. Meeting old and new friends.   
I feel my phone buzz and pull it out of my pocket, seeing I have a couple new messages from the group chat ‘Revolutionary Set’

Favorite-Fighting-French-Person: Hey, me and Herc r on campus. U guys here yet?

PegLeg: Yup, me and Angie r on our way to meet u guys on campus!

E-Lizard: Me and Maria r in our room getting ready. Just give us a minute

Red-Lipstick: We were having sex~

Favorite-Fighting-French-Person: Good to know…

Never-Satisfied: You hurt my little sister, and I. Will. Hurt.You!

Red-Lipstick: Would never plan on it! I swear! I love ‘Liza too much!

E-Lizard: It was just sex, calm down Angie!

PegLeg: ELIZA, I THOUGHT U WERE PURE?!!! And, EWWWWWWWW

E-Lizard: Not anymore ;)

Tom-Cat: Gross…

PegLeg: I second that!

Red-Lipstick: Shut it puggy!

PegLeg: Wow...rude!

Favorite-Fighting-French-Person: Everyone on their way or not??!!

Tom-Cat: Yeah i’m on campus now. See ya there!

E-Lizard: Me and Ria r on our way now! See u guys soon!!!

Not-A-God: Cool, see ya guys here!

I smile and look around for my friends. I soon here screaming and already know that it’s them. I smile and start to run towards the screams. I soon see, Laf on the ground with Peggy on top of them. And Angelica and Herc laughing on the side.   
I smirk and run up behind Herc. He’s too busy talking to Angelica to notice me running up to him. I soon jump in his back, causing for him to scream out in surprise and fall face first to the ground. I’m laughing so much, that I’m crying.   
“Ugh, hey Alexander. Nice of you to knock me over...” Herc groans sitting up, causing me to fall backwards. I smirk and stand up. Dusting off the dirt on my knees and back side.  
‘Yeah, yeah. Your just grumpy that I got you first!’ I signed, sticking my tongue out at him. He chuckles and stands up. He playfully glares at me and puts me in a headlock, ruffling my hair. I screech and pull away from Herc laughing.  
‘Hey! It takes a lot of work to get myself to look this good!’ I sign, trying to comb my hair with my fingers. Everyone rolls their eyes.   
“It’s good to see you Alexander...” Angelica says, putting a hand on my shoulder. I flinch slightly but soon lean on her.  
“G-good t-to s-see you t-too, Angie.” I stutter out. Trying really hard to pronounce the nickname her sisters gave her correctly. She scoffs and slaps my arm playfully. I laugh and turn back to Peggy and Laf. They both exchange glances then pull me into a tight hug.   
“Mon petit lion, it’s so good to see you!”  
‘Laf, we saw each other only a couple weeks ago. But have been talking on the phone everyday since.’ I sign pulling away from them.   
Laf and Herc went to France the month before college starts to visit Laf’s grandmother. And I’ve been staying my adopted parents-Mr. And Mrs. Washington-summer house in Virginia for the entire summer. And the sisters went upstate with their father.   
“Yes, but still. I’ve missed you.” Laf says. I roll my eyes and turn to Peggy. She’s the youngest in the group at age seventeen. I’m only a couple months older than her. But she’s still like a little sister to me.  
‘So, how’s your father?’ I sign looking at Peggy and Angelica. Angelica opens her mouth to say something but interrupted when Eliza and Maria run up to us screaming. Well, Eliza is screaming and dragging a very slow Maria with her.   
Eliza drops Maria’s hand and runs up to me. Giving me a hug.   
“Oh my God, Alexander! I have missed you so much over summer break!!!” She squeals. I laugh and hug her back. Eliza is like another mother to me. Along with Laf.   
After we all made our greetings and reunited, we all caught each other up on what happened over our summer breaks.  
“-And Peggy ran around screaming saying, ‘Snake! Help me, I just saw a snake!’ And when me and Eliza run up to her she points to a stick and says that the snake bit her!!!” Angelica says, causing everyone to laugh but Peggy.  
“It wasn’t that funny...” Peggy mumbles.   
“Oh please. It was the funniest thing in the world Pegs!” Eliza chuckles, petting Peggy on the head. Herc’s phone buzzed and he checked it. He blushed and looked at Laf with raised eyebrows.  
“Hey guys, we gotta go.” Herc says, holding Laf close to his side. We all nod and slowly split up to go to our own dorms. I go off on my own.   
I decide it’s as good as a time as any to go get my key for my dorm. And so I can drop off my stuff and unpack. I go up to dorm building seven and walk up to the front desk. Sliding a piece of paper that has my name on it to the girl behind the desk.   
The secretary looks at me weirdly, but types something into the computer in front of her. She turns back to me with a smile.  
“Your in dorm number, 1789 on floor three. Here’s your key. And have a good day!” I nod and give her a fake smile before turning down the hall and walking to the elevator. I hit the third button and get lost in my thoughts.  
I didn’t see. Or hear from John today. I haven’t seen him in over a month. The last time he saw me was at the very least, unpleasant. I wonder what dorm he has? I hope he’s not my roomate.  
I pulled from my thoughts at the sound of a ‘ding’ telling me I have reached my floor.

Well, here goes nothing…

I walk down the hallway, adjusting my backpack that holds the few things I owned and read off the dorm numbers.

1755, 1768, 1777, 1789! My dorm!

I find myself pausing in front of the door. I silently pray for me to be the first one here as I put my key into the door. It opens with a slight creek and I see that it’s completely dark inside.   
I sigh in relief and walk inside. Closing the door behind me and flip the switch next to the door. Filling the room with light.  
I look around and see that once you walk in your in a small living room. A couch, television, and small coffee tables that sit on both sides of the couch. A kitchen to the back of the front room. Marble counters, an island in the middle. And a fridge, lined with cabinets.  
There’s a hallway with four doors lining it.

This must be where the bedrooms are…

I walk down the hallway, opening each door on my way.   
The first door, a bedroom. It’s nice, plain, but that’s to be expected. I continue walking till I get to the second door. I push it open and see that this is the bathroom. I sigh and walk to the end of the hall. Skipping the third door. I open the door and see that this one is the last, and best bedroom of the dorm.   
I decide to claim this one as my own.   
I plop down on the bed and drop my bag on the floor. I look around the room and then back at my backpack. I stand from the bed and unzip my bag. I pull out some bed sheets and toss them onto the bed. I turn back to the dresser across the room from the bed.   
I walk up to it and quickly unpack. After about an hour, I’m all moved in. Once the clock hits six o’clock, there’s still no sign of my dorm mate.  
I’m so lucky. My adoptive father, George, he works as a professor here. At first I was dormed in the girl’s dormitory because of what it says on my birth certificate. But he was able to get the college to change their mind and switch me into a different dorm. I’m so grateful.  
I hear my phone buzz and pull it out of my back pocket to see who texted me. Now I couldn’t have seen my expression. But I’m sure that all the color drained from my face.

One New Message From John 

No. No, no, no, no, no! What do I do? I don’t want to talk to him! Let alone continue our little ‘relationship’ we had in high school! I can’t do that again! No more!   
I snap out of my worrying from my phone buzzing a second time. I take a deep breath and open the chat I have between me and John.

John: Hey baby girl~

I am not his baby! And I’m not a girl...right?

John: Wanna come over? My dorm number is 1776. Be here in ten minutes or there will be consequences! 

Oh no. What do I do?! The last time I ignored him he found me and beat the crap out of me. Broke two ribs and fractured my wrist along with a concussion. It wasn’t pleasant. But I know what’s gonna happen if I go over there. I’m gonna get forced into something I don’t want. I have only one true option though...

Lexi: Okay, I’ll see you in five...

I frown and feel myself begin to shake in fear. I stand and adjust my sweatshirt before walking out the door and down the hall. His dorm wasn’t far from mine. Too close for comfort. Way too close. I stand outside the door for a couple minutes debating whether I should knock or turn and run away as fast as I can.   
Before I could make a decision to stay or run as far away from this door as possible, the door swings open in front of me. And in the doorway stands the one and only, John Laurens. I feel myself stop breathing as he smiles down at me. I want to punch him in that damn smile, but I know if I did that. My torture would only be worse.   
“Oh God ‘Lexa...” John murmurs, his eyes full of lust. He grabs my wrist and pulls me inside before I can even try to sign or speak to him.   
He slams the door shut and pins me up against it. My hands are above my head and his lips are on mine. I can feel that he’s hard through his jeans, which causes a shiver to go down my spine.  
“Oh how I have missed you my little Lexi. And your body. Oh God, what I’m gonna do to your body...” He whispers into my ear. Grinding on me. Ignoring the tears that are gathering in my eyes. He wiggles his knee in between my legs to pry them apart.   
I want to cry. But can’t give him that satisfaction. John loves it when I cry. And besides. This has happened so many times before. I have become used to being forced into sex, as sick as that is.   
John sticks a hand up my shirt and tugs on my binder underneath.  
“Ugh. Still wearing this thing? Your a girl. Embrace it baby. It’s all you’ll ever be.” He hisses in my ear.

He knows I’m transgender. He was the first person I told back in my first year at their high school. Before he became crazy.   
He told me he loved me no matter what. Got me my first binder that year. Helped me come out to everyone else and the Washingtons. All who accepted me.   
He helped me. And now he uses it against me. Calling me a girl and saying how annoying it is for him to have to use protection with me.  
The first time he used me. The beginning of Junior year. He didn’t use protection. I was lucky. I was only fifteen at the time and if I was pregnant I think I would actually kill myself.  
But, one year. Senior year. He didn’t. And I got pregnant. I didn’t even have the chance to tell anyone because a month after finding out. I had a miscarriage. And I honestly don’t think he even cares.  
But that. That broke me. I couldn’t even tell anybody why I was so sad. Just had to hold it in. Because if I told anyone, they would think I was a slut...

John pulls me to the bedroom and throws me on the bed. I stare at him as he lock the door and turns to return my stare.   
“Oh my little Alexa~” John purrs as he climbs on top of me. Stradling me. He pins my hands to the sides of my head and leans down to suck on my neck. 

I try to speak, but I quickly shut my mouth.

It’s no use. He will never listen...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's The Second Chapter!!! There's So Much More Though!!! This Is On A Document 120 Pages Long!!!  
> Hope You Enjoyed! Sorry For Torturing Poor Alex....


	3. Chapter Three - Greetings Jefferson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twigger Warning For Rape In This Chapter.   
> Alex meets his roommate after getting back from John's dorm.

I stare at the ceiling as John thrusts into me one last time before moaning and coming undone inside me. Well inside a condom of course. I feel tears prick in the corners of my eyes, but blink them away.  
He releases his death grip of a hold on my wrists and collapses on the bed next to me panting.  
“Damn baby, that felt good. You felt so good…” He said, still coming off of his high.  
“Get dressed and leave. I’ll find you next time I need your body.” He says sharply. I nod and wince as I sit up. I scramble to gather my clothes that were tossed onto the floor carelessly earlier. I quickly pull my binder over my chest and can feel John’s eyes staring at me at every little move I make. I get dressed and try to leave as fast as I can.   
But before I can leave, I feel a hand grip my wrist. I turn to see John glaring down at me. I freeze and wait thinking that he’s going to hit me, but I am surprised and also disgusted when he plants a soft kiss on my lips. He pulls back and sees the tears beginning to fall down my cheeks.   
He frowns and uses his thumb to wipe them away.  
“What’s wrong Ally cat? Didn’t you enjoy having my cock fill you up, like the little slut you are?” He asks, his tone of voice, cold and with no emotion.   
I put on a fake smile and know if I’m gonna get out of this without a beating, I have to be what John wants. A slut.  
‘Of course I did. I’m just sad that I have to go…’ I signed. A lie. He smiled and kissed my forehead. Wrapping his arms around my waist. I held my breath.  
“Well don’t worry. It won’t be long till I’ll need you again.” He says with a small smile. I nod blindly and pull out of his grasp. I kiss his cheek and turn to walk to the door. But as I turn, he slaps my ass. I have to bite my lip to stop me from screaming in pain. I continue to walk over and out the door. Leaving John’s dorm room.   
As soon as I get a couple doors away from his, I break into silent tears. 

It happened again. And I let it! I’m such a slut! A whore! A toy! A girl!

Me and John aren’t even dating. Or at least he thinks that we are. But I don’t even like him like that! Not even as a friend! He justs uses me for my body like everyone else. My first day here and he already found me. He’s not even far from my dorm. Down the hall really...  
This all started back in our third year of high school. John told me he loved me,and I told him the truth. I didn’t like him back. I liked someone else. And he snapped! That was the first time he raped me. And when I became his. Only for my body. That was almost two years ago.   
Today was my first day of college. I’ve only been to my dorm once. I don’t even know my roomate! And John singled me out. Just like in high school. And I really tried hiding.   
But not that it matters. He’ll always find me. I’m his. And I better get used to it.  
When I got back to my dorm room, I was all cried out. I wiped my eyes one last time and opened the front door. It was ten-thirty at night. I limp inside and close the door behind me. I limb inside a couple steps before falling to the ground with a loud thud. I yelp in pain and slowly stand back up. I hear shuffling and feel my chest start to get tight.  
My roommates here! And I look like crap. Well, I always look like crap so it wouldn’t make a difference. I hear someone enter the room and turn to see a familiar curly haired man standing only a couple feet away from me.  
“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Hamilslut. Looking as disgusting as usual I see.” Thomas Jefferson sneers. Thomas fucking Jefferson. My longtime high school crush. And bully.   
He’s the person I turned John down for all those years ago. I feel a new wave of tears overcome me.   
I shake my head to myself and wipe my eyes. 

Nice to see you too, Jefferson... 

I think to myself as I walk past him, sniffling.   
“What? No snippy come back? What has happened to you Hamilshit? You really have changed.” Jefferson called after me. I stop momentarily. He’s right. I have changed.  
At least I used to try to speak more in high school. Even if I always had a damn stutter. But now, I’ve learned to shut my mouth for the better. I have changed myself for everyone else’s better.  
I sigh and continue to walk to my seperate room and close the door behind me. I collapsed on my bed and groan in pain. I grab my phone from the night stand. I have almost twenty new messages.   
I go to the group chat that has all my friends on it. And John.

~The Revolutionary Set~

Favorite-Fighting-French-Person: Bonjour mon amis! Do you guys have your dorms yet?

Not-A-God: Hey guys, me and my Laf r dormed together

Favorite-Fighting-French-Person: Oui I know, but the rest?

E-Lizard: Me and Maria are roomed together

PegLeg: Don’t you mean dormed instead of roomed?

E-Lizard: nope

PegLeg: GrOSs mY eyEs!!!!!!!!!

Favorite-Fighting-French-Person: Oh grow up Peggy, me and Herc share a room as well

Not-A-God: Yeah, and don’t you share a room with Dolley?

PegLeg: Shut up puke-ules!!!

Not-A-God: Okay… ouch

Never-Satisfied: Me and Peggy are dormed together

Never-Satisfied: Where @Tom-Cat and @Gay-Freckles? 

Favorite-Fighting-French-Person: probably, how you say, goofing off?

Not-A-God: Oooh, no! U can’t pull that French bullshit now Laf! U know how to say ‘goofing off’ just fine! 

Favorite-Fighting-French-Person: I am deeply offended mon amour

Tom-Cat: Right here! Sorry, I was busy unpacking and shit…

Gay-Freckles: Yeah, I was doing something.

E-Lizard: Oh, it’s fine. Who are your dorm-mates? 

Gay-Freckles: I don’t have one. He told me he was living with his boyfriend. Some guy named Sam? Looked like a king. Seemed like an ass regardless...

Not-A-God: So looks like ur dorm is the party dorm?

Not-A-God: No dorm-mate to snitch

PegLeg: YEAH, SNITCHES GET STITCHES!!!!!!

Never-Satisfied: PEGGY NO VIOLENCE

PegLeg: Aww man

Favorite-Fighting-French-Person: Geez Peggy….

E-Lizard: Changing topics. So Alex, who’s your dorm-mate?

Tom-Cat: Oh god guys, life hates me. It’s Thomas Jefferson. OF ALL PEOPLE TO??!!!!

Favorite-Fighting-French-Person: Oh mon petit lion, life does not hate you

Gay-Freckles: Yeah, you just hate life bc that’s what depressed people do.

E-Lizard: OMG JOHN!!!

Never-Satisfied: Why would u say that?!

Not-A-God: Not cool John

Favorite-Fighting-French-Person: U know he’s sensitive!

PegLeg: Jesus John

Gay-Freckles: What?! He does though?

Not-A-God: Yeah, maybe. But you don’t make jokes about it!

Gay-Freckles: Shut up Herc!

Favorite-Fighting-French-Person: Hey, don’t be like that now! Herc is right. That wasn’t funny!

Tom-Cat: Guys it’s fine…

E-Lizard: No it’s not Alexander

Gay-Freckles: See he’s fine! Done and over with!

Never-Satisfied: Are you sure your okay Alex?

Tom-Cat: Yeah, I’m fine. I gotta go. Bye

Favorite-Fighting-French-Person: Yeah, okay. Me and Herc should go too. See ya guys!

E-Lizard: Me and Maria said we’d take peggy to the mall.Angie, wanna come with?

Never-Satisfied: I’m down! Bye guys!

I turned over in my bed, and shut my phone off. Placing it on the nightstand. I lay back and sigh. My friends tire me out.   
I curled up into a ball and fell asleep. Even though it was only eight o’clock at night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to leave a kudos! But, that's only if you think it's good.


	4. Chapter Four - Group Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas greets a couple of Alex's friends at the door.

My roommate is Alexander Hamilton. The little gremlin shit from high school I used to torment. Hell. Still fucking plan on tormenting.  
But. I can’t help but notice something strange about him. He seems, so different.   
I do remember him changing towards the end of our third year of school. Getting more quiet. Less like himself. Then in our senior year, he stopped debating with me. Stopped trying to talk in general. 

I thought he would be back to his usual, snarky self by now. But he seems worse. A shell of his former self!  
He came into the dorm crying for God’s sake! And I was a real dick to him. I should have helped him. Asked what was wrong. Why am I such a dick?

Jesus, I’m fighting with myself over here. But what was he crying about?   
Probably realizing he’ll never be loved.   
Damn. I’m an asshole.

After I packed away my things. And set my room up with magenta everything! I decided to make some dinner. I unloaded some of the stuff my mother packed for me into the cabinets and fridge. 

I started boiling a pot of hot water on the stove for macaroni and cheese. It was almost eight o’clock at night. I looked down the hallway to Alexander’s room. I wonder if the little twerps gonna come out and eat.

He’s probably too busy working. So I’ll leave him alone. I’m not his mother! It doesn’t matter to me if he doesn’t eat! Just, worries me...

Why does it worry me? He’s still Hamilton! The same Hamilton I’ve had a crush on since sophomore year of high school…  
But he doesn’t like me like that. I handled everything wrong. I bullied him to try and suppress my gay feelings, but it didn’t work. Just made him hate me even more.

I sigh to myself and continue to cook, till there’s a knock on the door. I turn around and open it to see Lafayette and their boyfriend, Hercules Mulligan. I lean in the doorway and stare at them blankly. 

“Can I help you?” I ask. Laf frowns and shoves past me. They look down the hall towards the bedrooms.

“Alexander Hamilton open up your door now!” They scream once inside. They walk towards both bedroom doors. Laf opens up my bedroom door but quickly closes it and goes down the hall to stop in front of Hamilton’s door. Herc passes me at this point and follows after the crazy french fry. 

“Alexander, don’t make me come in there. Your worrying me...” Laf says a little bit quieter, but loud enough for me to hear. 

I close the door and step towards them. Laf knocks on Hamilton’s door continuously. I roll my eyes and go back to making dinner. Ignoring them all. 

What was the big deal with Hamilton? He’s a grown ass man. Well - more like midget. 

I sigh and eat my mac and cheese at the counter, listening to Laf and Herc begging for Hamilton to open his door.

What is the big deal with Hamilton being in his room by himself?

I here my phone bing from the back of my pocket and groan. I pull it out to see that James has created a chat between me, him, Charles, Burr, James Reynolds, Samuel Seabury, and George King. I never really talked to George too much, mostly because of how creepy and aggressive he could get. But I didn’t really mind.

~Southern Mother Fucking Democrats + England Freaks lolz~

The-King: I find offense with this name...

Death-Where-You-At?: I find offense with ur name

King’s-Bitch: You messed with the wrong King

The-King: I DECLARE WAR ON YOU!!!11!!!!1

Death-Where-You-At?: but,,,,you aint a king of anythang

BURR-den: Why was I added?

Thomas-The-Train: Because your a friend of ours

Lee-ve-Me-Alone: Plus we like pissing you off Burry

BURR-den: I already wanna leave

Thomas-The-Train: Oh calm down Bear, don’t gotta get ur panties in a twist

Razzle-Dazzle: Sup bitches

King’s-Bitch: Well aren’t you pleasant 

Razzle-Dazzle: Who r ur guyz roomates???

King’s-Bitch: I was originally with some John dude, but decided to go live with my King instead

Razzle-Dazzle: I got some John Jay dude

Thomas-The-Train: I got Hamilfag

Death-Where-You-At?: WHAT???!111!!!!!!1

Thomas-The-Train: Yup

Lee-ve-Me-Alone: You got roomed with Hamilton??? Oh shit. Poor you. 

Thomas-The-Train: IKR??!!!

Death-Where-You-At?: Why didn’t u tell me sooner??? Plus, me and a-a-a-ron got roomed together

BURR-den: I wish death upon you all

Razzle-Dazzle: Arent parents supposed to be nicer??

BURR-den: stfu

Thomas-The-Train: Wait. How’s baby Theo??? Haven’t seen you guys in months

BURR-den: She’s about to turn one soon. I’m so proud

Lee-ve-Me-Alone: Good for you Burrtle

BURR-den: One day Charles, one day

Lee-ve-Me-Alone: What you gonna challenge me to a duel and kill me???

Death-Where-You-At?: …

Thomas-The-Train: …..

Razzle-Dazzle: ummmm

BURR-den: ...Oddly specific 

Lee-ve-Me-Alone: You know what I meant!!!

I huffed a laugh as I got off the chat and looked back down the hall again. Laf and Herc were no longer in the hallway. I guess Hamilton opened the door at some point and I just never noticed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOOOOF this chapter was way too short guys/ gals / and nonbinary pals. Sorry, but don't worry, I'll update again soon. Byeeee

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. First Chapter. Hope You Guys or Gals or Others Out There Liked This. Sorry If It Succs. You Can Find Me and More Of My Stories Over On Wattpad. My Account Is @Poly-Lesbian  
> You Can Find This Story There As Well!


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